Finally.... After so long....

Finally, after so long, i am going to published my latest blog... haha... as if i am those superstar who is going to release an album like that... But its been a really long time since my last blog, and this time round i will write alot of things that happened to me recently... Good 1s, bad 1s, actually i was 'overwhelmed' by bad things.. haha...

i have forgotten wad date le, but that dae i was going to blog, haha who noes my internet subscription kanna cut off, so bo pian... actualy that dae i haf alot of optimistic thoughts to help me stay happy and run away from the grip of sadness, but too bad i cannot blog lol...

these optimistic thoughts stay wif me for weeks, until i am being pulled awae from happiness... something happened, really a big problem... how am i going to solve it? i really dunno...

SHE called me and sae that HE is in deep shit, thats what i heard thru my handfone when i was at a joyious occasion-celebrating my manager's birthday at orchard swenson... i haf no mood, realli no mood to go on celebrate. All my head was filled with question marks, i asked myself," why am i stucked wif all these shit? wad happened to HIM? is HE still the one i noe?" I really dont noe how to answer all these questions... all i noe now is to think of solution to help HIM... but if the fact is otherwise, i would slap that bitch...

all sorts of nonsense gushed into my head, all at once.. how am i going to cope? despite the fact that i haf a big head.. i realli dunno, i realli wish that i could juz die and that puts an end to my prob, though leaving alot of unsolved probs behind. i noe i am selfish, but that was wad i can think of only... i am a weak balloon... bursting soon...

that period was realli downhearted... my smile was completely wiped out since that call and a few messages... i noe i am wrong to put a glum look in front of my best fren, or a grp of frens, but i still try hard to smile haha... i used to tell myself i am a optimistic guy, in fact i am 1, but no matter how strong i am, i will still get defeated...

i will still let time to heal my wound...

but a fren saw my msn nick, which says "my greatest wish for now is to die in the nix moment", came and console me... he is my best fren's fren, of cuz i get to noe him thru my best fren.. i am so shocked that he came and tok to me over this, console me when i was realli depressed... though i noe he nids my help for some reason, but wad he said and did realli made me feel so warmth...

he brought me to church, and i realli enjoyed that dae... the songs were nice, and the ppl there were great.. i never expect that easter celebration could be that fun and rock and roll... woo... there is realli a great difference between buddhist and christian, as in their celebration... buddhist seems more serious, and christian seems more lively... at that point of tym, during the celebration, i realli haf a thought to convert, however, i was still a buddhist and i love my religion alot, so that thought was cancelled off soon afterwards..

21st of april, a joyious occasion... evil 15 went for a bbq at boonching house... wow... that was fun... haf anyone bbq in e rain? i doubt any1 haf had b4 haha... taking an umbrella and shelter the food and burning charcoal while gettin ourself drenched haha.. that was realli an unforgettable experience... eating chicken wings that were added wif rain water but nothing happens after that day, though shit a few tyms more than usual lol, but i realli enjoyed myself that dae... it was so fun... on my wae back home, i get to noe that my good fren seems troubled... but no matter wad, i will still be ur guardian angel, ur gd fren alwaess...

24th april, which is yesterdae, skool reopened after a 2 mths break... i got into a class which i totally dont like.. i noe nobody, and i was a nobody there.. even my closed fren isnt in the same class as me but we still get together during the same lectures, that was the only consolation...

things got worst todae... i went into csas3 class, where i noe i will get to see my new classmates... i was totally disappointed, not a single soul i noe.. sadz... out of the sudden, i haf thoughts, wierd one... how am i going to survive for the nix 2 yrs? my future seems bad... can i become a teacher and get into nie's ntu using a veterinary technology cert? haf i chosen a wrong course? arhhh... i feel lyk shouting...

i dunno whether i will still got the motivation to study anot... hopefully i haf... wad cw n bc said realli make me feel more relaxed n not so sad... but i still haf a long road to go, and the only way now to kip me contented is the tym we haf lectures together... hopefully lectures dun split us up... plss dun... thanks boonching and chingwei...