Haha i think i cannot stand the working enviroment for the packaging job, and i think they cant stand me too so they never ask me to work again lol... anywae i think its a blessing not working there lol... and i found a tuition job wahahaha... 1.5h per session, 2 sessions per week... 140 bucks for 8 sessions... but now that kid is havin his exam, so i am going more often... $_$

There are simply too many surprises in my life lol... somehow, my sixth sense told me that this student of mine is not a chinese haha... and when i went to his house todae, i get to know that he is an INDIAN lol... and i am teaching him chinese and mathematics... i guess his dad should be chinese, erm, muz be chinese ba lol.. if not he learn chinese for what lol... this is my 1st student, and he has real short span of attention period... and he is damn active, cant stop moving... his mum told me that her target for the son is a pass, 50-60 or 60 something.. i try my best to teach him... haha... i will be very serious and strict, which i guess none of my frens see me like that b4 haha...

My stupid mind kips on changing... and now i think the final verdict will be N73 lol... let's see how thing goes haha...

I would like to ask a question to those who read my blog... Am i putting a mask in front of you all? am i xu wei? hahah... i would like to see whats the answer my frens will be giving me... cuz i think i am always expressing my true side to all of my frens, except those that i dont like la of cuz haha...

I am trying my best to change to a better person... and of cuz i always fail to do so... i guess i dont fit to be a fren of his... for which our relationship seems to be deteriorating as days pass by... i am afraid... and of cuz sad... i put in all my efforts been a good fren, but it seems that i am not giving enuf ba haha... i used to be a bad person, and never give in to anybody... and i learnt my lessons years ago... and now i am changing to be a better person(thats what i think la haha), but it seems that i am still wrong... haha... how contradicting can it be? somehow i realise that whenever i give in, i am always getting things that hurt me... secondary skool i had an incidence... that hurts me alot...

When i was sec 1, i always suan people and cannot tahan people suaning me haha.. sort of childish la but its true haha... when i realise that nobody likes me anymore, and there are lots of people talking bad things behind me, i changed...

When sec2 onwards, i try to refrain from suaning overboard, and i suan for joking oli.. and i try to gif in to my frens, no matter what, but i got a great setback eventually haha... its a real disastrous period until i met yuda and accompany haha....

And now, history sort of repeat itself again haha... i think i am not faking to any of my best buddies... but if u guys think i am, then i dunno what to do le haha... maybe i need to learn how to act in front of them, so that they can think that i am not faking haha... i am not putting a mask at all haha... but what can i do to make people believe that i am not xu wei leh? haha... i need enlightenment lol...

Affections and affections... loads of them... i am so heart broken... i think i am juz not fit to be any of my fren's fren... haha... my character simply sucks i guess... or maybe i did alot of sins, so i am having my retributions now, and the 1st will be all my frens leaving me, including my best fren... haizzz...

Family problems + Friendship problems = Tragedy to me...

I wanna cry...

Wow too tired to blog ever since i started working lol.. though 1 day at factory and the usual 2 days at john little haha... the job in factory was tiring... haha.. and the momentum juz wasnt there... work and stone then work, at irregular timing... this is the irregular cycle i am following throughout the day.. haiz... i feel amazing that doreen can work there alone during the 1st few days haha... i saw my cousin there too... lol.. what a small world!

Working there is convenient for me as i juz take bus 80 and alight the at the bus stop along the road. its a direct bus.. but i feel that the i am realli an outcaste there lol.... maybe i am not familiar with the people there, BUT the guys there seems so damn dao lor... wtf! haiz... the aunties there, which is plenty haha, are so much willing to teach as well as friendly and kind lor... there are alot of foreigners as well, particularly from china... what i did there was making cartons, and hundreds of them... make and make nonstop for hours lolll.. did other stuffs but was considered trivial, i can be designated as the CARTON-MAKER lol... the hours are long, 12hours and the pay is 60 bucks...

So the next day, friday, cw, bc, cl and me (alex went with his sec frens) went to mediacorp to watch bao xiao xin ren wang revival round.. their fren are reviving.. hopefully he can! lol... but his fren's performance does not convince the judge as the judge dunno who he is acting haha... but i find it very funny haha.. he is imitating dong fang billy, and he look so alike lor! haha...
But which performance that make me laugh like hell is the one talking about days haha... check it out on chn8 tml at 8pm...

bc was well captured and u guys can see his handsome face on tv haha... i kanna afew times too lol.. but the recording process was funny haha.. the judges were hilarious...

I am going to changi to work tml le haha... work as packer as usual, but its damn far though lol... 58 per day... but i muz work hard and earn for what i want! jia you hanqun... i nid the money to buy things that i want and i need... i think i am able to make it... hopefully sia... the job is from 8-8... i think during this period i wont be on9 ba... because i think resting is more important than any other things else... i cant do anything else also when i am so tired, so the priority is to rest and rest... i am falling sick soon, so i muz rest even more... juz bear with it for 6-8 days then i can kiao kar at home le haha... JIA YOU AND GAMBATEH HANQUN!!! lol...

I got alot of things to blog actually but i shall leave it to the next entry... its about the saturday when i saw my teacher... this can lead to a real lot of stuffs... i juz dont wanna think of it at this moment, cuz it really makes me sad!

Rest, rest, and more rest pls... drink more water oso!

Finally i get to work tomorrow haha... Its kind of happy though i am expecting tireness... but i am one step closer to my wish.. hopefully... haha... i hope that it will stay and continue, so i can earn my 600 bucks... i need that money desperately...

Getting a job is also use to kill time... haha... and i can earn money as well.. dont haf to stay at home and rust haha... so bear with it hanqun.. think on the bright side.. there are more pros than cons this time round...

I wanna be somebody haha... but i am nobody lolll...

I wanna rock my life upside down... But i am stoning right now...

Its been a long time since my class had the class bbq.. think its about 2 weeks le ba lol... and i took alot of pictures haha... its soooo fun~ haha...

This is my latest album cover wahaha... MR LEE YU QING... Wei lolll... i love this picture alot haha... not because of me la, but the scenery and of cuz my hilarious posture wahaha...

Me and shahirah was discussing how are we going to take our next photo...

And this is what we discussed lol... i act as the guy who proposed to her and she act as a... thinking how to reject me i guess wahaha...

Phuiyuen and me... This is the 1st photo we took together despite the fact that we knew each other for more than a year le lolll... it looks great but my head looks damn big haha...

The new boyband bitchboyz wei lol... Alex, this is the 2ND picture u took leh... not only ur leg lolll... Btw my position looks obscene rite wahaha... what am i doing leh? weiiii...

This is another pic that i like.. haha... the jumping boyz... haha.. it looks great isnt it? boonching had a nice jump but not me haha... maybe i am being dragged down by my big head hahaa... nice jump boonching!

Its feast time haha... the fish, which is shown in the middle of the pic, is very nice... and HOT as well haha... shahirah, phuiyuen and me had the 1st piece and we cant stop drinking water haha... we played a bottle spinning game and use another piece as the forfeit... our forfeit is eat the fish without drinking any water when the head of the bottle points at either one of us... Phuiyuen is the LUCKY STAR lol... she almost had all the fish alone lor lol.. i am the second victim and shahirah is damn lucky la haha.. p.s. the fish taste great, we use it as a forfeit because it is super hot lol...

Its my turn now haha... but i simply love the taste of the fish haha... though its really hot~~

HAHA... Our bbq pit is located at 33D.. What can you think about when you see 33D? To me i will think its bra size wahahaha... sorry huh lol... thats why out of creativity (erm can sae i am dirty minded la lol), i took this picture lol... i got a size of 33D leh weiii.. lolll... sorry to anyone if this picture offended you lol...

Another day i wont get to work haha... i can continue to slack at home... but that means that my hope of getting N80 is officially declared as HOPELESS i guess haiz.... i really want to get a new phone... but why everytime i wont haf the chance... i noe i can earn alot during the period of expo sales, but the money is meant for my family... and when now i wanna work, work dont come along... haizzz... i think heaven is still playing a prank on me... lets see how ba... i am still filled with hope... and hope that this will move me along and keep me going...

I happened to have alot of friends that excel in sports haha... and all of them represented singapore for oversea competitions... and they marked a name for themselve overseas and local too haha... i really envy and admire them... i hope that i can be like them haha... its so cool when you can represent singapore for something... i dont have any special talents, neither am i a sportsman... somehow i feel abit useless haha... i try not to compare myself with others but i juz admire what others achieved... maybe i am born to be a spectator lol...

I wanna live my life to the fullest... but what can i do to fill it? i think i am a fool in everything haha... i wanna sing well, but my voice sucks... i wanna do well in studies, but my memory sucks... i wanna play sports, but my stamina sucks... i wanna play game, but my reaction sucks... i wanna excel in mahjong, but its not recognized...

There are simply too much of 'i wanna... but...' in my life...

I am heading towards a journey which will eventually lead to money lol... How to go? Of cuz is work la lol... work and work non stop for 14 days straight... starting from tomorrow... holding 2 jobs at one go lol... hopefully i wont shag until cannot stand up, no dirty thoughts pls... is my legs cant stand lol...

Juz came back from chalet on fridae... and i realised that i took alot of photos... and i shall post those photos once i got them, and other photos like that time i donated blood lol... too lazy to post, so this time round i am going to post it all...

Chalet was fun... though we didnt do much constructive stuffs, never go out so oftenly... what we did is stay indoor and play board games like monopoly and cranium... haha... 1st time play cranium, and its FUN lol... love it sia... and i get to play my monopoly... so long never play oso lol... surprisingly, i got to play mahjong lol... of cuz no money de la lol... and i am teaching my fellows clan members how to plae hahahah... boonching, my desciple in mahjong, picked up rather fast lol... however compare to his shi fu, which is me, is still a long way wahahahaha!!!

We did alot of nonsense stuff and talk cock all day long lol... or am i the only one toking cock? erm lol... i oso dunno haha.. but its so fun during those 3 days.. haha... and i experienced something new there... drink alcoholic drink-vodka...

I dont drink alcoholic drinks, because i cannot stand the bitter taste... it taste great initially because of the gassy feel, but once the gassy feeling is gone, the bitter taste dominates and it sucks lol... what cw, alex, cl and bc bought is vodka, which is a alcoholic beverage that is like soft drinks haha... but the bottle is nice lol...

They bought different type of alcohol percentage of vodka, and of cuz different flavours haha... i tasted the low percentage one and it still taste sucky haha... i can taste the flavour at 1st and its nice, but once the flavour's gone, sucky feeling arises lol...

And during the 3rd day, before we check out the chalet, we still left a bottle of raspberry vodka, and it has the highest percentage of alochol lol... and we happened to open it and taste lol.. cw, alex and cl said that it taste like cough syrup... and i feel quite reluctant to drink actually... but dont care lol... i juz haf a sip will do... the 1st sip taste sucks, but somehow i wan a second one haha... and it taste great soon after that haha... omg... i dunno why i like it so much haha... and i feel that it taste like cherry haha... but something funny happened afterwards lolll...

My face turned red, super red after half an hour... i feel HOT lolll... but not giddy... i feel tired only cuz the previous nite i never sleep, and busy toking with my frens - bc, cw, cl, alex, diana, shahirah, joanne and cindy... its such a hilarious experience lolll... but i feel like drinking again haha.. boonching said that we can drink soda nix tym in the midnight, so i can change now... Boonching, lets go and drink vodka one day k... my treat haha...

Anyway my dear energy, i am going to treat you guys pool, kindly make yourself free after 2 weeks loll...

Omg i feel like drinking vodka now.. think i am drunk without alcohol haha... i muz control myself...

I got my results during the 1st day of chalet lol.. kind of expected haha... i am going to post my results i guess haha... to gif me an awareness of how i did this time round, so i wont make the same mistake again and again...

N80 and Baby's medical fee... HERE I COME!!!!

Yes or No?

A question is given and i am asked to answer... a yes? or a no? anyway both answers will still be wrong lol...

Chalet's tml... looking forward since last week... hopefully i wont get drenched by cold water...

Wonder what we will be doing tomorrow... though i really want kbox lol... kind of lame but its fun ma haha...

Had my haircut todae.. and its quite ugly... chao ah beng look which totally dont suit a good angel look-alike boy --- me...

3secs to puke, before you continue reading the rest of the content lol...

Yay i got 2 new books to accompany me during the boring days... i wanna buck up my english haha... but i am more interested in the content... granny dan, here i come... thanks phuiyuen who helped me to borrow the books and lend me hers too haha...

i had my album cover done lol... its so nice wahahah... i am prepared to release my debut album this month haha... wei..

Maybe i shall work towards a post of sales manager... since i think doing sales is still my best... *thinking...

But i still enjoy and love teaching... any job that requires me to interact with people or animals i will gladly accept it haha...

Another day had passed, i am still trying to forget you...

Its seens like it is splitting up, pieces and pieces... will glue link them back together, or will this bond be forever diminished?

Expo sales is over, finally... though its very tired, but there's still a feeling of 'so fast?!' lol... i really enjoyed the period of work there... its so fun... and extreme too... either u slack like hell, or u work like mad lol...

Our target for the sales is 2.6m, and we hit it with a sales figure of 2.8m... Since we hitted the target, wonder how much will be my commission... hopefully it will be 150 bucks and above ba haha... *dont dare to think any further...

I think during this period of work, i can earn quite alot lol... but after the deduction of cpf, i dont left much though haha... but nevermind, saving for retirement lol...

Yay finally i can cut my hair tomorrow... its so troublesome keeping long hair, somemore it dont look nice on me... i wanna have a punk hairstyle hahah... but my big head simply stop me from doing so lol... sadzzz lol...

Chalet in 2 days time... hopefully it will be fun...

I wanna work towards 2 things...
1) Doggy medical treatment fees
2) N80

Jia you ba hanqun... hopefully u can do it... though 99.9999999999999% u cant....

I need courage to seek for my real happiness... But i need determination to change my faith...

I need help seriously...

Its my 1st day of work in expo... SO TIRING... and busy too... the queue never fail to stop, until the last minute before we close lol... i am so damn tired todae lor haha... did packer job from 1.30-4 and cashier from 5-closing haha... i am realli belly tired... however, i never fail to smile to customers, and i realli saw alot of different characteristics and human nature behind customers of different race. I am not expressing and racism remarks, neither am i a racist haha... but i dont mind sharing what i experienced todae haha...

I happened to see alot of friendly malay customers todae... they noe that i am terribly busy doing the cashing and packing alone, and they offered their help in packing the stuffs of their own... i was so touched and happy when i saw that haha... and they are so kind and encouraging haha...

Another customer who marked an impression in my head is an indian couple... they are friendly, but the guy is very stingy and abit of greedy too... he wanna took a whole stack of my plastic bag away, which i am running out of supply... so i straight away stopp him and say," excuse me sir, i need the bag to pack for other customers... sorry... i dont haf enough.. i can give you 2 if you want..." So he took the 2 and walk away.. There is another indian lady who came alone with her kid, and she bought a real lot of stuffs haha... and she is SO FRIENDLY... keep on smiling to me also... so i try to provide the best service i have to her... and when she tries to put all the stuffs she bought in the baby trolley, i offered my help to her by asking her whether she need me to carry the stuffs outside to her car or any other form of transportation, even though she rejected my offer... But she is realli a polite and nice customer...

Well, chinese customers wise there are alot of 'dao' people... but there are also alot of friendly ones too...

This is an experience by a sales personnel, no racism remarks involved.. No stereotyping too...

I was pretty upset by my own colleagues though... some of them work as if they are the boss... and compare themself with you that he is faster and more efficient... this utterly pissed me off... if you are that great, do it yourself then... I am utterly disappointed that this person turned out to be like that... haizz... He realli act as though he is the boss sometimes... i wanna puke -_-

And i am well pissed off by a temporary staff... if you are stupid, please learn... i will be more than glad to coach and teach you along, step by step slowly... dont give me FUCKING excuse like you are tired. I am more tired than you a thousand times... my speed is faster than you in doing the cashing, though i know you are not experienced yet... LEARN... and u made a DAMN stupid mistake that make the people to start pointing finger at me and sae i din teach properly... FUCK to all those assholes who said that... point the finger to yourself 1st before to me, as you assholes dont even bother to take the initiative in teaching her... i wont hesitate to scold if this happens again.. i am not a gentle kind soul to be maligned for nothing... even though i will still teach patiently...

Diana came with her mum and aunt todae haha... hopefully in the days to come i will be able to see more friends coming to expo and visit me... *er xin hahaha...

Die... this thought of mine is getting deeper and deeper... and it starts to bury its roots in my heart... i am worried, and i cant control myself... i am in the verge of giving up something for another... help... i need help......

I am forsaken by love in reality. Hopefully it won't leave me in my dreams, for which it's the only place I can taste the love that I truely wants...

Its been a long time i blogged... haha.... finally after so long.. bo pian too tired le everydae *excuse* haha... so i gotta sae what boring things i did during last few days haha...

Exam ended on 1st of september, with the biochemistry 2 paper that closes the chapter. i tot i can get A for biochem, which is the one and only A i can get this semester, but as i progress in the revision, my hope and target dropped to B+, B and eventually C+ haha... kind of disappointed, or should i say i am very disappointed... haiz...

I am prepared to get a GPA of 2.5 this time round, for sure... sigh..

So the next dae, which is a saturdae, i went to work in the expo... john little mega sales... i went to do the set up. Its extremely tiring and strength-consuming, and people like me, a weakling, will struggle in the setting up as there are to many wagons and bins to open and display... and this sparks my mind - its time to exercise.. haha... anyway working there is fun... alot of freedom, especially i am with my manager, who is very good with me too... and my godma haha... she is there in expo oso haha.. at least i wont feel lonely and strange there haha...

Sunday wise is actually a day for me to join superstar... as usual, i backed out and leave an empty promise behind haha... i am such a disappointment... kind of regret, but i noe i wont make it anywae... i like to sing haha, but like to sing and can sing is a totally different thing... guess i will just stick back to reality and move on with the hope of having a career in singing leaving behind and let it diminish gradually...

Monday i went to expo work again.. 9am report for work and 10am is ready to leave hahaha... so i walk around freely lol... nothing to do... realli lol... even my manager said that to me haha... she ask me to walk around also lol... until the brand dettol came with 4 pellets of goods without price tag on haha... so i helped them and also to kill some time haha...

Went to mahjong in the night at my fren's place... played overnight with an 'earning', wei haha, a winning of $36 haha... somemore i game a xiao san yuan haha... its soooo fun... my favourite game is mahjong and the only thing i am good in is also mahjong haha...

Tuesday is a good day... i love tuesdae haha...

Today i went to class bbq, and as usual, own groups start to gather among ownself and the whole class din bond much together also, feels quite redundant actually but as long as our group is fine with one another, its fine with me haha... as that is my greatest concern...

Recently there are alot of people died... the 'crocodile man', Steve Irwin, died due to a sting by the stingray during the time when he is filming a documentary show... my fren's fren, 20 year old, committed suicide as he broke off with his girlfren, a 4 year relationship... and his mum withnessed the whole event as he asked his mum to look out of the window as he jumped... haiz... i feel really sad for the mother... i just cant imagine...

Life is really short... cherish it and stay happy everytime because you wont know how long you are going to live... its not a cursing, its juz a random thought... i must try to stay as cheerful as i can everydae, and bring joy and fun to every single one of my beloved frens...

Even though i told myself to be happy everydae, but i am still troubled by something in my heart... i am really really troubled... i scare i went back to the past, but its the past that makes me feel sooooooo happy... i never feel such thing before since that time... i wish to turn back time but i cant too... and i cannot oso! haha... i must try to control my mind, as this thought or mindset is recurring again... i am afraid that i will be like the past, but ironically speaking, its the past that makes me so happy... haiz... what to choose?

Life is always questioned with choices, what to choose is another problem...